Stop The Stress And Get Your Life Back
From time to time we all get off track in life. We get bogged down by work, with a relationship that’s ended or going badly or a myriad of other reasons. And soon before we know it, it seems as if we’ve slipped off our path and fallen into a dark cave. One where we can’t see where we are going or how to get there.
No-one escapes these slips. No one is ever happy all the time. Nor would you really want to be. It’s healthy to experience a range of emotions. That’s what makes life such a vivid thrilling experience.
The secret to a happy life is to move through them quickly. This way you’ll be able to gain useful wisdom and insight from the less enjoyable emotions, but you’ll remain positive and enjoy life. Plus, instead of being stuck in one situation for two or even five years, you’ll zip through so many more experiences that your life will be so much more fulfilling. The ability to do this takes some skill and practice. This site is devoted to helping you understand this process and get your life back on track so that you can live with less stress and more happiness.
To Be Happy And Successful Requires Certain Skills That Most Of Us Have To Learn
As humans we share one common motivation, at the root of everything that we do. And that is the drive to be happy, fulfilled and successful. Yet, as Ben Franklin points out with his famous quote, that the only certainties in life were death and taxes, whoever we are and whatever we attempt in life, we are certain to face setbacks and disappointments. It can often seem as if the Gods are playing a cruel game with our hopes and dreams.
We can’t all be successful in the same way. Most of us won’t be World Leaders, Sports Heroes, Hollywood Icons or Nobel Prize winners. However we do all have the potential of being equally happy, fulfilled and successful in our own way.
Achieving this goal doesn’t depend on genes, looks, money or luck. Each of us will face disappointments, setbacks and challenges. One of the most interesting, detailed and longest studies of physical and mental health began at Harvard University in 1937 and has analysed what makes one person happy and successful and another in similar circumstances a miserable failure.
They found that 5% of people were what they called ‘Optimally Adjusted’. In other words they were pretty much as happy as they could be. The difference between them and the 20% least well adjusted was essentially how effectively they could deal with setbacks and difficulties.
“Life ain’t easy,” Vaillant points out. “Terrible things happen to everyone. You have to keep your sense of humor, give something of yourself to others, make friends who are younger than you, learn new things, and have fun.”
The key to a happier, healthier life is how quickly we can pick ourselves up after a knockback. Elsewhere, research into relationships shows that happy relationships do not have less arguments or differences. Instead what determines the health of the relationship is the way that differences are resolved.
After almost 18 years of intense study, observation and experience working with people to overcome stress and live more rewarding lives, I firmly believe that there is a formula for happiness. And I would like to share this with you, so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling and successful life.
Happiness is Easy and Natural. Here’s The Formula…
Since our earliest days Philosophers have often queried and theorised on what it takes to be happy. Wars have been fought, lives lost and much sufferring caused in the quest for happiness. Over the past few decades there has sprung up a whole industry focused on helping to be happier ranging from travelling across the world to visit some mystic to aromatherapy. It’s become a fashionable trend in Psychology, where Psychologists avidly study whether being nice to your neighbour will make you happier than coveting his wife… or car.
Yet despite all this attention and the rainforests full of tips from self help Guru’s that are published every year, as a society, according to Psychologist’s, we’re failing in our happiness project. And so people get led into thinking that there must be some great truth or formula that they have to understand to unlock the holy grail of happiness.
The Real Truth About Happiness
The real truth is that we are so stuck in our social and mental patterns of behaviour that we’ve actually got it so back to front that we can’t see what we need to be happy. It’s not that we need to learn how to be happy, we just have to learn to stop doing the things that make us unhappy.
Look at any young child or pet. Unless they are, or have been, in some unnatural situation that is causing them to be unhappy they will naturally be playful, curious, interested to learn and… happy. It’s only when they start to get to get closer to the teenage years of learning the rules and behaviour that fit in to the world that they start to lose that natural zest and love of life.
It’s the losing of themselves in trying to conform that causes them to become unhappy. And so to fix that basic error we go searching for some other code of conduct that we think can make us happy.
It’s not that you are missing or lacking anything… only that you are suppressing what would make you truly happy…
Yourself. Your true self.
Your natural spontaneity. Your natural and uninhibited sense of fun.
The Two Keys To Happiness
There are only two things that we need to be happy and love our life.
One is to live passionately. To have someone or sonme thing that we love and care about. To have a dream that excites you to strive and grow towards.
The other is to deal effectively with fear. If passionate living is the accelerator on our journey, fear is the brake. All evil ever committed at it’s root is caused by fear. Consider this. Every country has a Department of Defence. Yet none have a Department of Attack. Yet if none are attacking, how come we keep having wars?
It’s fear that causes us to attack in all it’s forms. From World Wars to personal conflict. Yet we don’t typically think of ourselves being afraid. Instead we recognise fear more commonly as stress. And so it is stress that causes much unhappiness. This can be the stress of fitting into ‘the rules’ or trying to do more that we can fit into our day or caring too much about what other people think. Whatever the form it takes, it’s stress and fear that hold us back from a happier life.
Which leads us to the big question. What is happiness?
It’s as simple as the pure and unadulterated love of life. As it is, without needing to change it, flavour it or sweeten it. And to reach such a state of mind requires authenticity. In short, happiness is about one simple thing.
Allowing the natural DNA that is you to express itself, without any self consciouness, in whatever environment or context you find yourself in. In simpler terms, forget about ‘what you should do ‘ and do what comes naturally.
Unfortunately though, while this concept should be simple, it is so different from our cultural training that we misunderstand it. Hence this website has hundreds of pages to go deeper and help you get back to your natural and free way of living happily.
Here’s some of the best places to get started on your individual journey.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you again. You have answered my question yet again I have not been myself. I am going to make it a rule to be myself and be happy. I say thanks everyday to God but I let things in life make me crazy and I forget that is not who I am not really.
HAPPINESS, an elusive dream. You have made that statement passe with such a simple formula. “HAPPINESS=PASSIONATE LIVING-STRESS”…”It ís not that we need to learn how to be happy, we just have to learn to stop doing the things that make us unhappy…Whatever the form it takes, it ís stress and fear that hold us back from a happier life.”
Many of us, me included, “pursue” happiness when after all it is within us. We look out for it but what we really see are the props. Thank you for sharing.