Authentic happiness is not what most people talk of, when they talk about being happy. True happiness is a state where you know that you will be happy tomorrow… next week… and next year. You know you will be happy if the sun shines tomorrow… or if it rains.
Authentic happiness does not depend on anything happening… or not happening. Authentic happiness is a way of living that is in tune with your natural physical and emotional design. It is the buzz of being in control of your life and of sharing all that you are with the world. It is like the smooth hum of a luxury car running perfectly.
Most people talk of happiness when they are not happy. When we are happy our mind is not on how we are feeling, but is absorbed in something exciting. In our moments of deepest happiness we are not even aware of thinking. We speak of happiness from a longing to be happy. Therefore happiness is spoken about in the way that someone drowning would clamor about for a lifeline.
We speak of happiness when we are sick of misery.
We speak of being happy when we are desperate to get rid of the pain of emptiness and frustration. This is why we grab at anything that seems to be easy for us to reach. We reach out to be happier from an emotional state that doesn’t believe anything more than temporary relief is possible.
So we settle for a short-term fix.
Our attempts at creating authentic happiness are like our attempts at being healthy. We all want to be healthy. But we never think about being healthy, until we experience ill health. We never concern ourselves with keeping our body in its best possible working order. But when we get sick or experience pain, we crave health. And from the desperation to avoid pain, we will take a painkiller.
The pain killer doesn’t make us healthy. In fact many would argue that introducing the painkiller may lead to imbalances in the body…which may lead to further health problems. But it does take away our pain. When our pain is gone do we concern ourselves with ensuring our health is the best it can be?
No.
For most of us we forget about our health… until we get another reminder. We follow this same pattern for happiness… And this is why few reach authentic happiness.
We forever chase the instant and easy cure rather than the effective and lasting solution.
We choose the thirty second sound bite over the deeper insight contained in the longer article.
We choose another’s suggestions rather than making the effort to find our own solutions.
We choose the comfort of conformity over the bravery of authenticity. At times we try to lessen our pain and emptiness… By;
- drinking
- taking drugs
- keeping busy
- shopping
- or otherwise distracting ourselves
In doing so, we are taking the emotional equivalent of a painkiller. That is not to say that painkillers do not have their place. Everything has a place in the world. But their place is not to create health.
Authentic happiness can never be bought, given or copied. It can only be chosen.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
great why explainning what happiness really means
I have been looking for a good definition of authentic happiness for an essay. This website has been very useful. Thank-you
I think everything boils down to the mind. For me, happiness is a choice. And it is true that sometimes we seek for "lesser" alternatives compared to doing things that will make us unhappy. I think this is the body's biological response on some stimuli especially if our brain recognizes them as threat.
Thanks for an inspiring post! Yes, happiness is a state of mind: happiness is living joyfully, mindfully. It is not about achieving this or that, which is impermanent; it is about being happy, which still is not forever but at least it can be for most of our lives. Thanks for your posts you share here!
frank
I fell in love reading this essay and though I still don’t know what true love is, I want to believe that I have reached the ultimate happiness. After all, time flies by and I don’t know how much time I get to experience the “authentic happiness”. I am happy that I got a chance to feel happiness once again today, though it might be a temporary one, it is still a valuable one.
Thank you
I do not know what true love is either and happiness is fleeting for me and I have to force feed myself the realization that I have to surrender to the spiritual force above that guides us.
I tend to go looking for trouble a lot by ignoring my body tones so I wind up finding it and getting my ass kicked in some fashion.
I have to learn life thru the Skool of Hard Knocks. I am aware somehow I made this agreement to learn life the hard way.
Anytime I use something as a distraction tool to hide my feelings and misery but God takes that tool away from me no matter what it is and it makes me feel like throwing a tantrum at times.
It amazing how many different people are saying the same sorts of things, in regards to happiness. In my life I’ve found happiness comes as a result of defining my own values and meaning of success and not taking society’s symbols of success too seriously and working steadly towards my own goals. Secondly, to protect myself from negative emotions and doing the things that give me positive emotions. Thirdly, I think using guilt constructively has been a key to improving myself and my happiness over the long term.
I can really relate to the above article.
Just an extra note, perhaps guilt is the wrong way to explain it. Perhaps more acurately, it is important to take full responsibility for your life and use your mistakes as a learning tool.