Pain or misery is the clashing of whatlife is with what you think life should be.
Give up the need to have life be exactly how you think it should… and you need never feel frustration and anger again. None of us have a deep enough knowledge to have the first idea, what would be best for ourselves - let alone anyone else or the world in general.
We misunderstand what life is… how it works… and what it’s purpose is. The more firmly that we believe in our misunderstanding… the more pain and misery we create. Give up control – which you’ve never really had anyway – and you can direct everything.
Life is so much vaster, has so many more possibilities and so much more flexibility than we realise. The way we experience life is like the way we listen to the radio. We tune in to a specific wavelength. This lets us hear one station clearly, but cuts out other stations.
In any given situation we have hundreds of choices. By focusing only on our wavelength we miss other possibilities and choices. Therefore we trap ourselves. Then we think I have no choice, or I have only A and B to choose between. And so we feel frustrated trapped… with little if any power. This creates frustration and misery.
Once you can truly recognise and appreciate the
beauty and perfection of life, you can change your focus, just as we
change radio stations. Then life becomes far simpler and more exciting.
Once our problems were relatively simple to solve. We needed food and shelter. These were there, we just had to find them and take them. Today our problems are so complex that most people do not even understand them.
Our planet faces destruction from global warming and weapons of mass destruction. Soil erosion means that our food has minimal if any nutritional value. Superbugs and superviruses threaten us all.
These threats have all been created by our society in the last few decades. Of course we did not intend for these effects. But when we act in the world, without appreciating the order of nature, believing that we need to fix it, we end up stumbling from one disaster to another.
And what is true of us as a society is also true of us as individuals. As individuals we go through life trying to help others, or even ourself, believing we and they need fixing. Thinking that we - or anyone else - can see enough to know the right path for others.
No-one is broken or needs fixing. Nature is perfect. When we understand this, we can get over the need to make everyone else think and act as we do. And then we can begin to appreciate others for the gifts and talents they can share with us. Then instead of straining to fit into regulation shapes, we can all fit together like one huge jigsaw.
The key to life is to fall in love with it. To start to treat it as a big investigative game. You can begin to create order out of the chaos of life. And learn the universal laws and principles that govern life.
Every day you’ll learn more about yourself and life. You’ll begin to understand why things happened and see more options. Then you’ll feel more secure and in control of your life.
It all starts when you stop calling life a bitch and cursing your luck. You can't change anything while you're hitting out at the world.
But when you love life... life starts to love you.
Remember when you first fell in love. You wanted to know all about that person.
All about their past.
All about what they were thinking.
All about what their hopes and dreams were.
You woke up in the morning and just gazed at your lover appreciating everything about them.
Why do you think life should be any different?
Stop treating life like the adverts before the main feature. You know the way you 'kill time' to get what you really want.
Getting curious and fascinated by the beauty of life.
Enjoying the romance and sheer adventure of being alive.
Forget the myths of romance and chemistry. Study after study shows that it is familiarity that is most influential in deciding whom we fall in love with. We love what we know. What we do not know we fear.
Have you ever wondered what determines beauty? Psychologists have investigated and at least part of it has to do with familiarity.
If you take a hundred faces and morph them into one blended face, that face will be more attractive than fifty morphed faces. And fifty morphed faces will be judged more attractive than twenty-five and so on.
It seems that ugliness is unusual features, whereas beauty is a common or symmetrical feature. It reflects back what the observer sees and understands. The more we know about something, the more we like it.
People who don’t like each other often become friends if they are put in a situation where they have to spend a lot of time together.
Because we don’t like what we don’t understand. At the basest level we see this in prejudice against someone of a different race, creed or even organization. Once we learn and understand why someone thinks and acts differently, we can appreciate them – even if we still disagree.
Art, sport or a type of music we know nothing about can seem so boring... but once we learn a little we can get hooked.
What does any of this have to do with you falling in love with life?
Falling in love with life is about paying attention and understanding it. It’s about being fascinated with the process of life and treating it as a lover who you are endlessly interested in… rather than viewing it as the way to get the stuff you think you want.
Once you get this mindset, the path forward is clear.
Next: Understanding Happiness