The curse of socialisation is the mistaken belief that there is a set standard we should match up to. It causes us to always be looking around comparing ourselves to others and so diffusing attention, rather than focusing on what we can do ourselves.  Psychologists call this phenomenon Social Comparison.

In relationships this means that our energies are often diverted from creating our dream relationship to comparing with other relationships. Or comparing other potential relationships.

There is always something else to compare against. You can never be definitively 100% certain that A will be a better bet than B. But if you choose A and keep checking or even jumping from one relationship to another, you’ll never invest enough into it to make it as good as it could be.

It’s like wanting to invest money. You could spend a lifetime checking out strategies and following tips without ever acting. Eventually there is a point where if you had just plumped for one method you would have made more than by procrastinating and prevaricating.

If you are in a relationship and want to continue being in that relationship, forget about what other relationships look like. Your energy and attention will be much better spent on directing it into creating the type of relationship you want to enjoy. There are no rules. You can create a relationship to be however best suits you.

Equally forget about comparing your Partner with other potential Partners. If you want to stay in the relationship… focus your attention on the relationship and bring it to life. When you take away the distractions you are left with much more focus… and so more power. That you will start to create your perfect relationship.