Happiness Site

32 Principles That Lead To Happiness

How Did We Get So Messed Up?

Use This Book For Continual Evolution

Using The Life Audit

Overcoming Stress And Anxiety

Pain Or Misery

The Key To Effective Problem Solving

It isn’t really the things that your Partner does that causes you to be upset with him or her. If you feel happy, what they do may be easily shrugged off by you. But if you have become ground down and irritated, you have far less tolerance and patience and so what they do affects you far more. By working on being happy, you therefore are more accepting of your Partner, and so you allow them to be as they are to a greater extent. Without any loss or cost to you.

When you feel distanced, feelings of resentment and bitterness will creep in. All of us are whole people. We have an enormous range of qualities some you will feel are positive, some negative. No one is completely positive or negative. We are each capable of experiencing all emotions and acting on each of these emotions. If you feel bitter about someone, you will look at the aspects of that person that justify that bitterness. If you feel loving about someone, you will see those aspects of the person. However you feel about a person determine what you see in them.

This is why some people love someone, while others cannot see any redeeming features in the same individual.

So the more distanced you become from your Partner, the more aspects you will see that you dislike. As you do this you re-rate your Partner against your ideal rating. But now the score is much lower than before. And so you feel cheated.

The Economic Mindset demands that you get as much as you give.

So you either;

• reduce the effort you put into the relationship,

• feel bad,

• have a relationship with another to top up the gap between what you feel you give in and what you get.

• or change your Partner.

Money is very important to the Economic Mindset because it is a way of putting value on people, their time or their creations. We do not think through the Economic Mindset because of money; we have money because it is the physical manifestation of our Economic Mindset.

We grade people’s worth by the value we ascribe to their creations. We sometimes determine our own self-worth by the value others place on us. Being paid more than our neighbour makes us feel that we are more highly valued and so we relish status symbols. Being bought expensive presents and taken to expensive places makes us feel that we are treasured and so influences our self-valuation.

The problem with this perspective is that the value is inherently hollow. It is only a symbolic shell for the real valuation. And so no matter how much surface value we gain, it will never be enough because it has nothing real that can nourish us.

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