What Is It That Makes The Difference?

The difference between happiness and misery, between effectiveness and wasted effort, between anger and tolerance, all amounts to differences in attitude and personality. George Vaillant’s study found that some people acted in a way that helped them get long with others. That made the best out of situations. And they plotted the course through life that worked best for them.

Others seemed to hold themselves back and put obstacles between them reaching what they wanted to achieve.

In any situation that anyone has ever been in there are always at least two routes – actually many more, but for simplicity we’ll say two.

There is a route where things will get better. And one where they’ll get worse.

The person that lives a happier life will choose the happier route more often. The more often they choose that route… the happier and more successful they will be.

The person that struggles through life chooses the harder route more often. The more often they choose that route… the harder and more miserable they will be.

The route you take, all depends on how accurately you can navigate your path through life. Everyone has both hardships and opportunities. It’s the ability to spot the opportunities and avoid or minimise the hardships that create a happier and more successful life.

Ultimately it’s all down to the decisions you make. What Makes The Difference Between The Successful And Unsuccessful At Decision Making?

People work a little like a computer. They have a genetic make-up, which is like the physical computer.

But the way that people make sense of the world is through an Operating System. Just like a computer only works – for most of us – with an Operating System such as Windows.

The Human Operating System enables us to;

to communicate,
to learn from past experiences (our own and others),
to live life as we know it.

It is this that differentiates us from Cavemen or animals. It mediates between an event and our reaction to the event. Something happens… our Operating System processes it …and we react the best way we know how – given the knowledge and resources we have available to us at the time.

Because of this internal software we don’t have to learn everything from scratch. Everything we’ve ever seen or been told becomes assimilated into an overall framework or philosophy.

The problem is that just like many pieces of computer software, our Operating System is riddled with bugs and flaws. These get shown up in our life experience as problems.
Since the speed of life is so much quicker now these problems are amplified. Just as earlier we talked about the aeroplane journey gets knocked further off course than the walk. Now it’s easier to get carried away from where you want to be emotionally.

Here’s where all our errors originate.

Psychologist’s tell us that we are bombarded by 3,500,000 separate pieces of information every minute. Now there’s no way that we can process all that data. Our brain would just explode.

Can you imagine how many separate pieces of information you have been bombarded with in your life?

Now most of these have been filtered out long before you ever became aware of them. Here’s how it works…

Imagine you’ve come home from a long trip away and you have a huge pile of mail. What do you do?

Probably you’ll throw the junk mail away. Make a guess what others are about. And just pick out the important ones.

What if one looked like a routine piece of junk mail, but was actually an urgent, but time sensitive notice telling you you’d won the lottery. You’d miss a great opportunity. This is just what your Operating System does all the time.

If you don’t feel you’re getting the breaks… it’s because your Operating System has been filtering them out before you could spot them.

The difference between happiness and misery… between love and hate… between success and failure… is entirely due to your Operating System. You can reach the top of your field if you can spot and respond to the opportunities coming your way.

It all depends on how effective your Operating System is set up.

Now probably up to now you’ve not been so aware of what creates your Operating System. But every piece of data happening around you in your life was processed. And every subsequent thought about all these items gets jumbled together into one big confusing pile. Your Operating System is a process of pulling together all these and trying to make the best sense it can from the mess.

The problem is that this is often like putting together a jigsaw when you’re missing some of the pieces. There’s no co-ordinated structure. No unifying theme or strategy.
So you might delete a vital piece of information that could shortcut your route to where you want to go.

Sometimes we get so blinded by our perspective on something that we miss out a different perspective that may entirely change how we react and so change the path we take through life.

We get blinded through our Operating System. We do this because our Operating System attempts to fit what’s happening around us into our Operating System’s expectations.

This is really important to understand. When you can really get this… you get control over your life. That’s why in the 32 Building Blocks to Happiness – and in my Advanced Happiness Secrets Videos – I go into more detail about how the Operating System is developed and how to best use it.

The purpose of the Human Operating System is to show you as much as possible what matches your Operating System. Anything different is resisted as much as it can be.

It takes all the information around you and;
Deletes what it thinks is unimportant to you.
Generalises other bits into categories, so it can treat them the same.
Distorts some of it to match up to what you were expecting.
Gives you an overview report of what it thinks you are most interested in.

So your Operating System is always going to be riddled with flaws and errors. It’s in it’s nature to be incomplete.

Yet this is where all progress and evolution comes from. Every flaw and bug you discover and fix in the Operating System is another leap forward in the quality of your life.

The evolution of society comes from the fact that each generation rebels against the previous one. And so each generation discovers a flaw and causes an upgrade in our cultural Operating System.

The established order in every field and every area of life will find itself challenged. And over time flaw after flaw will be discovered about what we previously believed to be fact. This is how life progresses and advances.

For example, we upgraded our Operating System when we discovered that the world wasn’t flat… when we realised that sanitation reduced disease… and when cars were made available to the masses.

Now every day across the world there are hundreds of instances where people are making new discoveries and overturning old beliefs. This is the process of life. Living on the edge and pushing the boundaries and so ever expanding.

If you want some thing, whether it’s a feeling, a relationship or a tangible thing, that you don’t have… it’s your Operating System that is blocking it off to you.

This means you have to identify the flaw in your Operating System that is blocking you from having what you want. Then you transform the structure of your Operating System to let it in.

Opportunities are around you all the time. There is never a boat that you must catch. There is another boarding all the time. It is only the fact that you aren’t seeing the opportunities that stops you from getting what you want.

Why don’t you see the opportunit

Well the whole purpose of your Operating System is to disregard everything that happens that doesn’t seem to be relevant to you. And so you may disregard lots of these opportunities because the form they come in doesn’t seem obviously relevant to you.

Upgrading your Operating System is training it to show you the opportunities all around you. And then life becomes like picking fruit from a tree.


  1. 1

    Sophia says

    Wow, this was totally eye opening. I have heard it said in different ways, but this is so clear to me. Thank you!

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